I actually really enjoyed The First Time. I was impressed by the range of experiences that Monro was able to find and document; there is no heterosexual bias in the book and Monro goes out of her way to include experiences by disabled people as well as those who were coerced or even raped in situations of domestic violence. Although not all of these experiences made for happy reading, the book was strengthened by the diversity of the interviewees and it meant that it could offer a more panoramic portrait of what virginity loss is like.
On the whole, the social commentary was informative but it was nothing ground-breaking, and this made it the weaker element of the book. In particular, the chapter on women was full of information that anyone who has even a most basic knowledge of feminism would be familiar with. It was interesting to see how women's attitudes towards virginity had changed over time as their roles in society changed, but the commentary itself was nothing new. On the other hand, the chapter about asexuality was much more interesting, as this isn't something that is widely discussed in society. We have a tendency to think anyone who doesn't have sexual urges is very strange, so it was good to see Monro exposing and challenging that mindset. I also liked that Monro adopted a very open definition of virginity loss, acknowledging that it means different things to different people.
On the whole, The First Time is well worth reading for the interviews alone, as the commentary is a bit hit and miss. Anyone particularly interested in social history or gender issues will surely get a lot from this book.
Source: Personal copy (kindle)
First Published: 2011
Score: 3.5 out of 5
This is one of my favourite books about sex and sexuality. I agree that the commentary is a big lacklustre at times, but there are moments that redeem it. It's one of the "sex books" I tend to recommend most, along with Every Man Can and The Guide to Getting it On.
ReplyDeleteYes, there are definitely enough redeeming moments in this book.
DeleteThe interviews really sound fascinating. Have you read Hanne Blank's book Virgin? One of my favorite things she said in that book was that many of the women she interviewed would tell her two stories about losing their virginity: They would tell about the first time they actually had sex, and then they would also tell about the first time sex was really good for them. I thought that was so interesting.
ReplyDeleteI haven't read that one, although I'd like to. I have read Virgins: A Cultural History by Anke Bernau, which was interesting.
DeleteThis sounds like SUCH an interesting book! Definitely just added it to my TBR!
ReplyDeleteI had never heard of this book, but sounds fascinating. I'm actually studying classic history and early Christianity and the role virginity played is surprising... and kind of modern! Thanks for calling my attention on this book, I'll try to check it out as soon as possible (and use it for my lessons!).
ReplyDeleteWhat an interesting topic to write a book about. It's always bothered me that so much *value* is still being placed on virginity, especially for girls. It just seems to perpetuate the medieval notion that girls' and women's bodies are property. I'm glad to see there is a wide variety of experiences the author discusses; virginity does indeed mean different things to different people.
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